I have been fighting with the decision of whether or
not to actually make this post at all. Normally, I try to keep a very clear
line between my personal life and my business that I am running as a
photographer and after this post I intend to put it past me and move on,
hopefully with a majority of you still by my side as I continue to either work
with some of you or to bring you along with me on my photography journey. This
will be one of the few times I bring my personal life into this page, I can
promise you that.
To put this as simply as possible without a huge
dramatic speech: I am openly gay. I am
not ashamed of it and I refuse to deny it if asked about it either. I have made
the decision to not bring it up until now simply because I know there are
people in this world who are not okay with my lifestyle and that is just fine.
I am not writing this to sway you to believe in ANYTHING, nor will I ever do
that. I choose to not bring it up with
clients, especially men and simply because I have had more men being
uncomfortable with it than women. Sorry, male population, but it is just the
truth. But don’t get me wrong – that’s OK for any of you to believe what you
want. I will never put it on any of you to voice your opinion, whatever it may
be. I will never judge someone based on their beliefs. That isn’t my place to
do so as a photography business owner. I am here to create photographs for you,
plain & simple. If I lose some of my followers because of this post, that
is just how it goes.
That being said, here is exactly WHY I felt it
important to write this:
For a while, there wasn’t any issue and business was
as usual for me until recently a series of events played out that put my
livelihood as a photographer in major question. One day I got a voicemail from
a client I was hired to do a wedding for next summer that caught me off guard.
They had called to tell me that they would be going with another photographer in
the Marshall area and that they needed the deposit back that they had paid a
few weeks ago. Of course, I was completely shocked and disappointed as I had
really gotten excited about doing this wedding and felt it necessary to ask
exactly why they had decided to do this. It turns out that they had spoken to
someone whom I no longer have contact with for other reasons that are not
important but should put into perspective this whole situation. According to
this couple, they had spoken to this person who decided to disclose the fact
that I am openly homosexual. They had voiced that they were not okay with
working with me based on my lifestyle choices. I immediately became very angry
and hurt, mostly at my friend. How could someone sink THAT low that they would
think to sabotage my reputation and use my sexuality as a weapon against my
business? I am still trying to figure out that question, though I don’t think I
ever will fully understand it.
Obviously, this really struck a bad nerve with me
and I became very angry, mostly at this friend who had decided to basically
sabotage my reputation as a photographer by telling my clients something that
they had no business sharing in the first place. This was not and never WILL BE
okay with me. Yes, I do not speak about my sexuality with clients and this is exactly
WHY I have made that decision - They are clients
who have no reason to have to know. They have hired me simply because of my art
that I do. That’s it. Also, what place is it of someone else’s to disclose my
sexuality in such a way?
The entire reason I am even writing this post is to
take a big step back with you all and be completely honest. Yes, I may have
said that I have “clients” that I work with, but a lot of you I really do
sincerely call some of my good friends now and I think that because of that
frame of mind, that a lot of you are friends is why this is so important to me.
I have always been and always hopefully will
be completely upfront and honest with the people I consider my friends.
Again, I understand that I may lose a few of you as clients and maybe as
friends but that is a risk I am now willing to take. I am who I am, and really
for those who have worked with my already in the past you should all be aware
by now that I am not flaunting ANYTHING. I would never intentionally do or say
something that would make a client feel uneasy, male OR female. I am there to
be a photographer and create artwork, not bring sexuality into the picture.
