Let Me Make A Few Things Very Clear

I have been fighting with the decision of whether or not to actually make this post at all. Normally, I try to keep a very clear line between my personal life and my business that I am running as a photographer and after this post I intend to put it past me and move on, hopefully with a majority of you still by my side as I continue to either work with some of you or to bring you along with me on my photography journey. This will be one of the few times I bring my personal life into this page, I can promise you that.

To put this as simply as possible without a huge dramatic speech: I am openly gay.  I am not ashamed of it and I refuse to deny it if asked about it either. I have made the decision to not bring it up until now simply because I know there are people in this world who are not okay with my lifestyle and that is just fine. I am not writing this to sway you to believe in ANYTHING, nor will I ever do that.  I choose to not bring it up with clients, especially men and simply because I have had more men being uncomfortable with it than women. Sorry, male population, but it is just the truth. But don’t get me wrong – that’s OK for any of you to believe what you want. I will never put it on any of you to voice your opinion, whatever it may be. I will never judge someone based on their beliefs. That isn’t my place to do so as a photography business owner. I am here to create photographs for you, plain & simple. If I lose some of my followers because of this post, that is just how it goes.

That being said, here is exactly WHY I felt it important to write this:

For a while, there wasn’t any issue and business was as usual for me until recently a series of events played out that put my livelihood as a photographer in major question. One day I got a voicemail from a client I was hired to do a wedding for next summer that caught me off guard. They had called to tell me that they would be going with another photographer in the Marshall area and that they needed the deposit back that they had paid a few weeks ago. Of course, I was completely shocked and disappointed as I had really gotten excited about doing this wedding and felt it necessary to ask exactly why they had decided to do this. It turns out that they had spoken to someone whom I no longer have contact with for other reasons that are not important but should put into perspective this whole situation. According to this couple, they had spoken to this person who decided to disclose the fact that I am openly homosexual. They had voiced that they were not okay with working with me based on my lifestyle choices. I immediately became very angry and hurt, mostly at my friend. How could someone sink THAT low that they would think to sabotage my reputation and use my sexuality as a weapon against my business? I am still trying to figure out that question, though I don’t think I ever will fully understand it.

Obviously, this really struck a bad nerve with me and I became very angry, mostly at this friend who had decided to basically sabotage my reputation as a photographer by telling my clients something that they had no business sharing in the first place. This was not and never WILL BE okay with me. Yes, I do not speak about my sexuality with clients and this is exactly WHY I have made that decision - They are clients who have no reason to have to know. They have hired me simply because of my art that I do. That’s it. Also, what place is it of someone else’s to disclose my sexuality in such a way?

The entire reason I am even writing this post is to take a big step back with you all and be completely honest. Yes, I may have said that I have “clients” that I work with, but a lot of you I really do sincerely call some of my good friends now and I think that because of that frame of mind, that a lot of you are friends is why this is so important to me. I have always been and always hopefully will be completely upfront and honest with the people I consider my friends. Again, I understand that I may lose a few of you as clients and maybe as friends but that is a risk I am now willing to take. I am who I am, and really for those who have worked with my already in the past you should all be aware by now that I am not flaunting ANYTHING. I would never intentionally do or say something that would make a client feel uneasy, male OR female. I am there to be a photographer and create artwork, not bring sexuality into the picture. 

A New Chapter Begins

As you all know full well I have had a lot of incapacitating doubt with my photography work and the direction I’d like to see myself go in with my journey in aspiring to be a photographer. I’ve mentioned over and over how I will only be photographing for me and not really caring what others think about what I produce, and that fact still stands firm. I’m throwing my qualms I’ve had about anything and everything to the wind and turning my back to it. I have been thinking a lot lately about my career as a photographer and where I'd like to be some day with my work, and I'm still working that out to be honest. I've got many ideas and high hopes for what it is I want to do, but right now they are all just that - ideas.

Yesterday morning, I was thinking to myself how happy I am right now with where I am heading in life. I am finally doing photos that I am proud of, something that I haven't had happen in a very long time. Although that fact was true, I still find myself thinking how down I get when I am in between gigs of photo shoots. I am sure it is quite a depressing sight to behold me basically moping around town just kind of idling between works. I have felt I have kind of fell flat with my work the last couple of times I have done a photo shoot, and let me first say that this is in no way the fault of my models - I appreciate you all who have worked with me lately to a point I can't even begin to thank you. The fault is completely my own for letting me fall into a routine of the same old photographs time and time again. I have not seen any really good progression for quite some time with my work, and it is still frustrating me. That is where I hope that this project idea I have thought of will get me back on my feet again and loving the work that I produce.

A lot of photographers, especially on flickr.com, are doing a photography project called the "365 day project" where aspiring photographers do a self portrait of themselves every day for a year. I have considered that, even tried it a few times and eventually I just lose steam. I don't enjoy the idea of having to think of a new concept for a photograph EVERY single day, for one year. I'm afraid a project like that will make me lose the love I have for photography, and I'll be damned if I will let that happen.

That is where my twist on this "365 Day Project" comes in, and I'll admit it’s probably been done before. My idea is this: I will be documenting something in photographic form, whether it is of me, of a model, or just something to have to remember from that day for a year. That is it. I am going to impose no official “rules” to this project such as only self portraits or edited a certain way, although I have thought about the idea of only using one camera lens for this project, but I’m still up in the air about it. There is going to be particular “editing style” that I will try to keep consistent with this project. For some of the photos I will probably have an idea of how to “improve” my art or do something different (I have yet to use my camera in full Manual Mode, so that will definitely be something I’m going to work on being comfortable with), but other than that there are going to be no rules on having to be conceptual or surreal or anything like that. I just want to get out and put my creative juices to work.

Sooo, that is that - Here’s hoping that I will not lose steam on this like I have with so many other projects in the past. My plan right now is to begin this project on July 8^th as I will be out of town this week for my brother’s wedding down in Red Wing, Minnesota. Keep an eye out – I’ll be posting the images + a daily write up here on the blog & also my facebook fan page.

Have a safe & enjoyable 4th of July everyone!

Photography Portfolio Session – Eric H.

Hey Everyone!! Look at me all updating TWICE in one week!

The time has come once again to present another photo shoot to be part of my growing portfolio, but as always – a little background story first!

The photo session with Eric H. came about kind of out of the blue and very quickly. Eric and I have only known one another for only a few weeks. We met literally over face book after a friend of mine had approached him asking if he’d let me photograph him. Eric was immediately up for it and so we began arranging a time and throwing around a couple of ideas I had on what I wanted to achieve with the shoot. It is hard to explain in words just how excited Eric seemed to be for this shoot. It really made me feel great to have such an enthusiastic person to photograph!

That is leads me into the main point of the blog post for today. I honestly cannot explain just how genuinely nice Eric is as a human being. He seemed to really be excited to be a part of my photography endeavors to create a portfolio and was so easy to work with and get along with. He had no reservations with anything I threw at him, which for me is awesome since I seem to be the type to “fly by the seat of my pants” type of photographers. I will have a pretty basic idea of how I want the images to look, but I can side track at the flip of a coin to something else.

Normally, how I operate when I do a photo shoot is I will go for a while taking photos and not really speaking as I seem to get really wrapped up in the photo taking process. After a couple of shots pass, I try to show the model the images on the camera screen, just so they can be aware of exactly what I’m doing. Every time I did, Eric’s eyes seemed to light up and he seemed so excited about what we were creating together. That was the thing with Eric too, even though I would go for an extended period just shooting, he seemed very at ease and comfortable. We would once in a while make some type of small talk (including me flinching once as a bird swooped down almost hitting him on the head as he just kept on focusing on me, not even fazed even though I saw a much worse outcome!), but mostly we just wandered around Lagoon Park (a park in the town I live in) in a very comfortable silence.

I feel like I am dragging a dead horse around with my point here, but the one thing that set in stone just how decent of a guy Eric seemed to be came when we were heading back to his vehicle to drive to a separate location for more photos and he without hesitation offered to carry some of my equipment. It was just small things like having the decency to do that that set him apart from any other client that I have worked with. The fact that he cared enough to do that was just humbling.

Okay! I am done with my babbling – I just want to give a HUUUGE Thank You to Eric for working with me, and hopefully we’ll get the opportunity in the future for another great session!

Now on to the photos…

The following 3 photographs are what is known as a “Bokeh Panorama” – Basically each one of these photos are three separate photographs that I have "stitched" together to create one large image. Awesome, eh? 


You can see a diagram of how this was achieved on my facebook page

You Just Got Reality Checked, My Friend

Hey Everyone

I apologize once again for my absence from the blog, but I have had such a busy schedule the past few weeks (I am not complaining at all, I'm doing exactly what I love so it’s all good in my world!).

So first a little update on the Prairie Gothic art show endeavors: I officially have a majority of the photographs taken and edited for the show! I say majority because there is a couple that will be in need of a reshoot as I am just not satisfied with the results just yet. Otherwise, everything is coming along great and I am super excited for the show on August 3rd at Java River Cafe in Montevideo, Minnesota! It is an Open House event, so everyone is welcome!

These past couple of days has been kind of a roller coaster of emotions for me, to be quite honest. I've been doing a lot of thinking to myself about where it is exactly that I want to go with my photography journey and I think I have finally worked out at least a part of that out. The first thing is that as far as the Conceptual Portraiture direction I was planning on heading is no longer in the works. As much as I love Conceptual Photography, it is just not a good option for me at this point. My photography is my fulltime job right now and as far as any income with that type of work, it isn't really an easy thing to do. I have never claimed to be a good personality type to "sell myself", so the thought of having to actively sell my personal work just terrifies me.

With Conceptual Portraiture it just feels that it is too much "work" for lack of a better word. I don't want to have to work to CREATE a piece; I want it to come naturally as possible. The process of having to create a concept for each photo that I put out is exhausting and all I want to do right now is create portraits. Simple, but compelling portraits. That's it. I don't want to have to have some "hidden meaning" behind things anymore. I just want to create something beautiful and that I am proud of. That being said doesn’t mean that my conceptual work is going to come to a complete stop! I will still be working on a few pieces now and then just to keep my creative juices flowing, but right now my attention is going to be to just create something simple. I think in a way I am feeling a bit burnt out with my photography work. I have been doing photography since I was in 10^th grade of high school – almost 10 years now (that made me feel very old just then. Geeze) - I have never had a “plan b” as far as what I have wanted to do in my life, photography has been EVERYTHING. I know for a fact that photography is what I want to do and nothing else.

Okay, now that I have rambled on completely scatterbrained for a while, I will leave it at that. I have another blog post coming later today that will be a lot more interesting to read, I promise!

Prairie Gothic - Behind The Scenes, Part 1

Hello again!

I apologize for the MIA status I have had this entire week, I have been neck deep in prep work for my photoshoot which is actually happening tomorrow afternoon!!

Here are just a few "sneak peek" behind the scenes kind of images of my sister Amanda & I prepping some props for the photos..

Wish me luck, everyone!! :) 

And finally, a random shot of myself taken by my sister. Note the angry expression from someone else trying to use my camera and take a photo of me.. 

Neal Freeman - Portfolio Session #1

Hello once again readers!


I am SO EXCITED to finally showcase the photo session I have been working on as a collaboration between myself & Kelsey Ryman of Miracles Ink of Montevideo, Minnesota. I am currently in the process of trying to build a portfolio of clients that have tattoos and such and an awesome guy named Neal Freeman was nice enough to volunteer to be my first model for this photo shoot (a huge thanks to him!). 


This project will be on-going through out the next couple of months, including some more shoots that will feature Neal as he gets more work done so make sure to stop by the blog for more updates coming soon!


Have a good weekend everyone!!